YOU BETTER GET WELL!

Here in America, most people have a consumer’s mentality. When a consumer buys a product and brings it home and realizes there is a problem with it, he or she takes it back. Often couples bring a consumer mentality into their marriages. Of  course, the devil loves to point out your spouse’s flaws and problems because he is the accuser. To keep your spouse’s faults from overwhelming you and damaging your marriage, you must adopt a different mentality. The gardener’s mentality. A true gardener doesn’t accuse the seller or reject the plant. A gardener takes responsibility to do what is necessary to restore the plant to health. Asking “I wonder what I could be doing that would cause this problem?” Or, “I wonder what I can do that will fix it and restore it to health?” We can all thank God that Jesus has a gardener’s mentality toward us. If you are a consumer, you are most likely impatient and frustrated with your spouse’s problems. Talking no responsibility to nurture your spouse or re...

Day 2 of our study on self control is found in 1 Thessalonians 5:8-9. But let us who live in the light be clearheaded, protected by the armor of faith and love, and wearing as our helmet the confidence of our salvation. For God chose to save us through our Lord Jesus Christ, not to pour out his anger on us. (1 Thessalonians 5:8, 9 NLT) I Thessalonians 5:8 says those who profess your self to be a Christian (live in the Light) BE CLEARHEADED! Don't allow circumstances to cloud your mind, don't let anger cloud your mind, don't let self-righteousness cloud your mind, don't let unforgiveness cloud your mind, BE CLEARHEADED! Use your armor of FAITH and LOVE to protect and surround you! The key to having self control is to remain focused on God at all times. If my focus is consistently on making my FATHER smile and keeping in mind that His Word tells me to LOVE you and treat you right no matter how you treat me then I can keep self in control! If I elevate my Faith in my Fat...

You guys unanimously shared that self control was one of the attributes you struggled with most. In tonights discussion I will talk about what self control is and why its needed. This topic will continue the rest of the week. You can access it here or on my blog. I will place the link in the comments. Ask questions as you see fit. I will answer as many as I can. Self control means regardless to my situation, surroundings, circumstances or human influences nothing will make me step outside of myself. I control my responses and I take responsibility for my words and actions. The mention of the term self-control undoubtedly brings to mind different images for people depending on their particular circumstances. Many probably think of combating dominating habits that can range from the simple to the more complex and debilitating. It may be as simple as a poor diet or a tendency to overeat at Thanksgiving, or talking too much. It may also be something more serious like chain smoking, drun...

Love is an important key in making marriage and other relationships work. If we are honest with ourselves we'll find that we don’t have the ability to really Love without the power of the Holy Spirit working through us. Our capacity to Love is based on God giving us the ability, supernaturally, when we surrender to Him. Those who don't know God can't Love God's way. God's Love is Agape Love. Agape Love is stable, predictable and does not change. It's the only Love that can provide a lasting Foundation for marriage. Generally when people say they Love its from a sexual or selfish desire. Those feelings do not last. They change with time, circumstance and situations. That is why there are so many more "baby momma's"and "baby daddy's" than husbands and wives. And so many more divorces than lasting marriages. Agape Love is the committed, sacrificial Love Jesus modeled for us. When Jesus tells us He loves us, He isn’t talking about a f...

I've never thought of myself as a soldier. As a matter of fact for a large part of my life satan made me believe that I was to weak to handle much of anything. That's how depression bound me in the first place. When I look back at all the things that broke my heart, shook my foundation, tried to make me lose my mind and make me want to quit I realize I AM A SOLDIER! I made it through! Not only did I make it through, but every trial, every pain, every heartache, every disappointment, every failure made me stronger and wiser! I really am strong!! NO NOT ME, the GOD IN ME!! I used to despise my trials, I used to hate myself for some of the things I've done, but no more! I've been going through something the past week and I began to wonder why me. But God spoke very clearly to me yesterday and He said "I know you can handle it, that's why you! I'll never give you more than you can bear, but you're stronger than you realize so I give you more." Knowin...

To submit to anyone less than Christ is difficult in a marriage. Yet it is Christ who commands women to be submissive to their sinful, fallible husbands. In this sense Christ is the silent partner of the marriage. It is hard for a wife to submit when she disagrees with her husband. But when she knows her submission is an act of obedience to Christ and honors Christ, it is much less difficult. ~ R. C. Sproul On my Facebook page I asked what your beliefs are about submission. I read many different beliefs and opinions, here is my response to it all. The Word says Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. (Ephesians 5:22-24 KJV). The Word of God is the standard. It is the authority upon which I base my beliefs. This scripture says to sub...

One of the greatest problems in relationships and in the world in general is that people do not take responsibility for their own actions. The first thing that most people do when they "feel" attacked is point the finger and retaliate. The idea that if you kill my dog, I'm gonna kill your cat is an idea that most of us have bought into at one point or another. Most people never realize that the cycle of hurt and anger can be ended with a response of Love. Instead marriages end, relationships are dissolved and homes are destroyed because no one wants to stand up, take responsibility and break the cycle. In my first marriage my then husband did many things that hurt and disappointed me but what I intended to be ONE act of retaliation ended up lasting for SEVEN years. And resulted in the dissolution of my marriage. How many times have you heard the saying "two wrongs don't make a right"? If your husband treats you wrong and you respond with wrong doing you a...

Heavenly Father, I pray for the broken hearted. God touch right now those that are searching, needing, and yearning for Love. Comfort the hearts of those that are lonely, and feeling unloved. God restore those marriages that are broken, strengthen that single mother struggling to care for her household all alone, heal that wife that is abused and abandoned, God bring peace to that wife that is waiting for her husband to return from the war, make provision for the wife who's husband is unemployed, be a husband to the single woman and the woman waiting for her husband to Love her as Christ Loves the church. God remove their focus off of this man made holiday and place it on you. Restore the joy, bring peace, elevate faith and fill us with your unconditional Love. Comfort the hearts of these women. I rebuke satan and every chain of bondage he brings! God move on today as never before. Be a comforter, be a healer, be the Lover of our soul, in the matchless name of Jesus! Amen.

In my quiet time earlier today I was praying and God reminded me of some things I want to share with you. As I've stated before my number one goal is to encourage you to have faith in God no matter what it looks like in your storm. However I keep getting responses like, you don't know how hard it is, you don't know what I have been through. Well I beg to differ. At age 18 I got pregnant in my first semester of college, and 4 months after my son was born I was pregnant again. That sent me into my first depression. After moving back to Michigan from South Carolina, my family of 4 lived with my parents in a 2 bedroom apartment for 4 years where I got pregnant again and was fired from my job for being pregnant. That brought on depression number 2. Experiencing emotional and sometimes verbal abuse caused me to be clinically diagnosed depressed for the first time. Being divorced after being cheated on and cheating, and going through Hell I was diagnosed depressed again! I fight...

So often we have heard the saying you have to lose in order to gain. We often apply this to dieting or weight loss methods. Losing weight to gain better health. Or we apply it to relationships in the physical realm. Shedding negative people or relationships in order to make room for positive people or positive relationships. But I propose that we apply this to our spiritual relationship with Christ. The Apostle Paul was a very poignant example of giving up everything so that he might gain Christ. Paul said: But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ. Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ, And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith: That I may know him, and the power of his r...

Meet Gwendolyn Owens, founder of Relationships Start With You. She is another living testimony of God's power to save, heal, deliver and use us to bless some body else! Gwen started Relationships Starts With You out of a desire to help women who are struggling with low esteem, poor body image and unhealthy relationships. Here is her story…. I was married for 14 years and my ex-husband decided that he no longer wanted to be married to me. Needless to say, I was in shock. I begged him to stay for the children but that was not an option. I cried a thousand tears. I was angry, hurt, disappointed and numb. Did I do something wrong? Am I not attractive anyone? I felt that my life ended that very moment. I went through depression and withdrew from my family and friends. All I felt was pain. My life spiraled out of control. Was I not good enough to be loved by him? I eventually moved in with my parents. The adjustment of being an adult child going back home was rough. I was disappointe...

Most Holy and all wise God, first God I want just say thank you for all you've done and for all you are doing through this ministry. Today I come before you on behalf of every wife and woman that is connected to this page. God I ask that you help us to be exactly what you have called us to be. Give direction God where there is confusion about what your will is for our lives. God cast out insecurit y, remove doubt, calm emotions, break addictions, heal every manner of disease, where wombs are baren, God make them fruitful. Increase faith, restore joy, and help us love and reverence our husbands as you have commanded us to. Empower us with your spirit, helps us recognize satans vices, and open our ears to your voice. Bathe us in your anointing, give us confidence to speak over ourselves and the words to speak life into our husbands. Give us patients to wait on your timing. Convict and convert the hearts of our sisters that are lost, and rebuke satan in the name of Jesus! God I thank...

Has your spouse ever done something that hurt you and made you feel unloved? But after discussing it you discovered that was not at all the intention behind his action. My husband and I are from completely different worlds. Where I'm from almost everyone has a hidden motive. Trust is hard to come by and you always have to listen for the hidden meaning in a persons words. If their actions don't line up with the words they speak then it is assumed that they don't have your best interest at heart. My husband on the other hand comes from a place where everybody helps everybody. They will give all they have to help you, even if it means they go lacking. And you better take it! The only motive they have is love. I'm from the big city where you ALWAYS have to watch your back and he is from the small country where EVERYONE has your back. Our individual culture and environment colored the glasses we view the world and EACH OTHER through. My husband always sees the good and g...

A few posts ago I talked about asking God for confirmation that the man I was in a relationship with was my husband. I fasted, I prayed and I asked God for a sign to show me if this man was for me. God confirmed that he was indeed my husband and we got married. I couldn't have been happier because I knew without a shadow of a doubt that this was God's will for my life, and nothing meant more to me than being in God's will. Time past and the honey moon phase ended far sooner than I ever expected it would. My husband and I were from to completely different worlds and we couldn't agree on ANYTHING seemingly. The arguments grew worse and worse and the tears flowed more and more! Never in my wildest dreams did I expect for things to be this way. I kept fasting and I kept praying searching for an answer. Then I began to question if God truly said what He said. Was it my imagination? Did God truly confirm that this man was for me? Did I miss something? Am I going crazy? Wh...

Today I pray for marriages! God first begin with husbands and wives individually, give us a clean heart O God and renew a right spirit within each of us! Remove stoney, rebellious, spiteful hearts and replace them with hearts of flesh, filled with your Love, your joy, your peace and a willingness to obey your Word and abide in your will. Then God restore, refresh, renew, and re-energize our marria ges. Increase our faith God and draw us so close together that no air can come between us! Cast out abuse, anger, hurt, pain, depression, infidelity, thoughts of suicide, neglect, debt, financial lack, unforgiveness, sickness and disease! God I thank you right now for all you've done and everything you are about to do! I speak it, declare it, decree it and count it done in the precious name of Jesus!

I'm praying for husbands today. God endow our husbands with wisdom, knowledge and understanding of your Word. Mend their broken hearts, where there is confusion bring clarity, if there be any conflict God bring peace. Convict, convert, and sanctify their hearts! Teach them to Love us as you have commanded in your Word. Don't let them be to prideful to seek guidance and direction from you. Lord bless, touch and anoint our husbands from the crown of their heads to the soul of their feet in Jesus name.

Today I am praying for husbands and wives that are in the valley of decision. Whether you are deciding to stay or end your marriage, or deciding on a home, job, or a place to relocate, perhaps you're deciding on a new church home or whether or not it's time to start a family. I'm praying for you that whatever you decide you first acknowledge God and discover what His will is for your life! I pray that you are lead, guided and directed by the Holy Spirit before you take one step. I rebuke satan and cancel the attack of the enemy on your life and your marriage, in the name of Jesus! Count it done!

My prayer today is that husbands draw closer to wives and wives draw closer to husbands and together marriages draw closer to God! God let us be so close that no air can come between us! Let us be so close that satan has no room to put any wedges between us! Do not let us be deceived by friends of the opposite sex, single friends, family, loved ones, work, children, money, secrets or other priorities that purposely or unintentionally try to come between us! Bind us together in your Love and strengthen us as never before as you said in your Word in Ephesians 4:12  And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.  In Jesus name, Amen! 

The holidays are a wonderful time that is specifically set aside to celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Many of us are spending time with our families, eating, talking, laughing, shopping and worshiping together. The Christmas season is supposed to be a time of love, joy and peace. But I cannot help but to think about the multitude of people that are without. So many marriages and relationships ending, homes broken, children split between parents, family deaths, sick loved ones, homeless and impoverished families that don't have the luxury of enjoying the holidays the way that we do. The murders of Sandy Hook are still fresh in my heart and mind. It keeps me forever grateful and full of humility because I certainly realize that I could be out on the street with no food, no home and no one to care for me. I could be grieving the loss of my child or loved one. I just want to offer this prayer for those who may feel forsaken in some way. Most kind gracious God...

After 15 years of marriage I found myself divorced, and the last thing I wanted was to be married again. Married for the first time at age 18, I was 33 when I got divorced, and I needed time (I felt) to figure out who I was. After all that I had been through I wanted time to heal, learn to Love myself and time to focus on my children. However there are two scriptures that stand out in my mind: (Isaiah 55:8 KJV) For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. And (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV) For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. If those scriptures are any indication you'll know that God had a completely different plan for me than the one I had for myself! Although separated for quite sometime I was only officially divorced for one month before being re-introduced to the man God had for me. In our very first conversation we both established ...