There I sat one Saturday night at age 10 or 11 in the bathtub singing a song I made up. I was fully convinced that no one loved me, no one cared, my parents hated me, I was the black sheep of the family, my friends were very few and I was constantly being bullied at school! The song I made up was a reflection of all those thoughts. The pain in my heart was so heavy and as the tears began to stream down my face the only way I could see to end my pain was death. I wanted to die. I was a worthless waste and no one cared about me anyway so I wouldn't even be missed. My only problem was I had no idea what method to use, drowning myself in the tub never crossed my mind. Finally I convinced myself to get out of the tub and from there move on with my life. Feelings of worthlessness and thoughts of suicide consumed me many days after that, from childhood to my teenage years, right into adulthood. At age 27 I was fired from my job for doing things I absolutely knew was wrong, the engine in m...
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